You’re no longer in secondary school so no one is going to tell you not to date. Dating is great, only when it is done right. Every now and then it’s good to feel that warm fuzzy feeling of love towards that significant other. After all, love is a beautiful thing right?
It is. But. Yes there is a but.
You cannot let love get in the way of finishing your degree with a good grade. I’m sure we all know one or two people who fell in love and let every other thing in their life suffer. Their only attention was on the person they were dating. The story usually doesn’t end well.
Bad grades in school and love gone sour. Don’t let this be your story. Here are some do’s and don’ts for dating while in University. Follow them and you can win in both love and education.
Do take your time – We know you are excited about the freedom you finally have. No parents monitoring your every movement. It’s what we all look forward to. But can you just press pause for a minute? You don’t need to date the first guy that ‘toasts’ you. Just relax, there are many fishes in the university pond. Take your time so you won’t have any regrets.
Don’t yield to pressure – Ah…peer pressure. Some of us are too familiar with its effects. Don’t feel that you have to date someone in university. We hear it in various forms; ‘the cool kids are dating’, ‘only efikos don’t date’ and so on. That’s nonsense. You should date because you want to date, not because you feel pressured to fit in.
Do have a plan – Yes dating also requires a plan. Do you know why? Because it can make you get carried away. If you don’t plan how you will manage your time when you are dating, you are setting yourself up for disaster (yes we mean it). Those hopeless romantics in Mills and Boons were probably not pursuing a university degree. Don’t follow their steps blindly.
Don’t compromise – Have a standard when dating. Go for serious minded people. What business does a potential first class student have with a student that could care less about school. That is a match made from hell. Yes, you can try to influence the person positively but do you really want to risk your degree for something that may not turn out well? Think twice and don’t compromise.
Do have people you are accountable to – When dating, it is a good idea to have people you are accountable to. These are people that will straighten you up when you are getting distracted from your studies. The person that will play this role should be someone you listen to and respect. This could either be your pastor, family relation or mentor. It could also be a trusted friend but tread cautiously here. Make sure it is a serious-minded friend who has your best interest at heart.
Don’t have your head in cloud nine. You know that warm fuzzy feeling of love we talked about at the beginning of this article? Well it can make you feel like you are on top of the world when you are dating. You’re wondering why this is bad. Well it’s bad because it can bring confusion and disillusionment. It makes the unreasonable appear rational. That is when a young lady will skip school for two weeks just to visit the person she is dating, despite the fact that exams are just a month away. It causes you to see the face of the person you are dating while studying your school books. In fact, it is not just bad, it is lethal to your academic pursuit.
This list is not an exhaustive list. Different things work for different people. We’ve seen people who have been able to combine dating and studying successfully while others have been burnt badly. Let these do’s and don’ts for dating serve as a guide. Add to it and subtract from it as you please. The bottom line is that you keep your head in the game; and we don’t mean the game of dating.
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